Monday, August 31, 2009

Planning Your Bathroom Remodel Budget - Home Improvement Ideas

As a bathroom remodeling contractor, I get calls from people, that have no idea what they want or how much anything is going to cost. Here's some simple tips that can be very helpful when planning a bathroom remodel budget.

Bathroom Remodeling Investment

In 2008, the average mid-range bathroom cost around $16,000 and you could recoup around $12,000 of your original investment upon the sale of your home. According to a popular remodeling magazine, larger bathrooms using expensive fixtures, tile, bathtubs, woodworking, toilets and showers had an average of $52,000. Upon the sale of a home, you could recoup around $36,000 of your original investment.

Finding out How Much Things Cost

My first suggestion, would be to visit your local home improvement center, lumber yard or plumbing supply warehouse. Larger stores like Home Depot and Lowe's, seemed to provide you with value pricing but don't have a large selection. While doing some research on the Internet I noticed that some of their pricing is outrageously, outrageous. Some plumbing supply warehouses can provide value but beware others won't.

Create a List of Bathroom Remodeling Parts

You can get a good idea of your bathroom remodel costs for your budget by making a list of bathroom parts with pricing and then adding them up for a grand total. If you're a total bathroom remodel budget is $15,000 and you have a $6,000 bathtub with $4000 worth of tile, you could have a budget problem.

Figuring out the Labor

You will have to contact a contractor to get an actual cost for the labor. Sometimes you can double the cost of your bathroom remodeling parts to get a rough idea. If you have a list or a couple of lists and a few pictures of some sample bathrooms, this will make the contractor's job easier and often they can give you a labor price within a few days.

Give Yourself a Cushion

I would suggest leaving yourself a small financial cushion for any additional remodeling items. For example, you could see a different toilet, or instead of painting the walls, you now choose to wallpaper, you could incur additional expenses that you haven't planned for. If you know exactly what you want and stick to the original bathroom remodeling plan, you shouldn't need the cushion.

Financial problems often transfer into construction problems, so spend some time figuring out, how much money you want to spend on the bathroom remodel and try not to go overboard on the budget. I hate to see homeowners struggling with home improvement loan payments. Try to create a bathroom remodeling budget that is realistic and will not create a financial burden upon you or your family.

Greg Vanden Berge is working on the internet to promote the education for creating simple to follow guides and home building books to help professional building contractors as well as the weekend warriors. He has just finished a home buyers guide to take some of the frustration out of home shopping.

If your looking for some more bathroom remodeling or home building ideas.

The Most Asked Question in the Universe

I am sure that you have heard it said absolutely too many times: If you want to create the life of your dreams, you have to believe to receive!

Is it really all about having FAITH? Is it really about positive thinking? Is it really that simple?

For a very long time, I felt I was doing all the things I was supposed to be doing to create the marvelous life that I envisioned.

  • I had positive thoughts.
  • I created vision boards.
  • I mediated and prayed.

I truly believed in my heart that my life would be as beautiful and as bountiful as my dreams. I had tremendous faith, but despite all the input, there was no output ... Well, at least not my desired positive output. In fact, my life seemed to get worse.

I started to ponder some serious questions:


  • Was all of my work to create the life of my dreams done in vain?

  • Can we really create our own reality?

  • Is all of this "Law of Attraction" stuff a hoax?


I am sure many of you can relate to this feeling. The most asked question in the Universe seems to be:

"What am I doing wrong?" I pondered this question for awhile.

I learned a very important lesson in my journey to bliss:

No matter how accomplished a pianist, and no matter how perfectly the piano keys are struck, if the piano is out of tune, the results CAN NOT be magnificent ... The instrument used to express the genius must be in tune!

What does all of this mean?

You may have brilliantly created a marvelous life in your mind. You may have unwavering faith that it will manifest for you one day. You may even believe you have done all the perfect things to manifest this masterpiece, but if your body, mind and soul (the instruments used to create and to experience the life of your dreams) is out of balance, your magnificence CAN NOT be expressed.

Many of us have gone for years (or maybe even decades) living lives that were definitely not the lives we would have created purposefully. Nevertheless, our life thus far is what we created, good or bad.

Why?

Because of the state of our mind, body and soul during the creation process!

  • Many have bad memories they are holding onto which keeps them from creating the life of their dreams.
  • Many have unhealthy and unenergetic bodies which inhibit them from completing the tasks necessary to create the life of their dreams.
  • Many spend their lives doing things they deem necessary instead of things they love which leaves their souls hungry.

With all of this, many people just can't seem to figure out why their life is not exactly the way they dreamed it would be.

Hmmm!

I raise my hand very high and admit to once being a member of this popular club!

The most important lesson I learned from my experience from rising from below sea level to extreme heights (from drowning to soaring) is that before I start working on my masterpiece , I have to make sure my instruments are in tune! When my body, mind and soul are in balance, my expression is perfection.

Balance is essential.

Choose to energize your mind, body and soul with the positives! YOUR LIFE really can be as beautiful and as bountiful as YOU create it to be! Self Empowerment is the Key!

Karen E. Smith is the author of Energy Diet, a self empowerment eBook. She is also a book reviewer for AnimatedBookReviews.com, a book review web site featuring reviews of empowerment books that motivate, inspire and educate.

Please visit The Energy Diet Book Web site to learn how you can empower your life:

http://www.energydietbook.com

AND

Please visit The Animated Book Reviews web site for some empowering books:
http://www.animatedbookreviews.com

Prayer In My Earlier Life and Its Effects

Bhagavad Gita
Believe And Achieve
Amazing Sai Baba
Think About Your Life

The Origin of the Master Key System by Charles F Haanel

I received an email from a reader named Derek L. in which he wrote -

Thanks for your great posts/blog. It's refreshing to see someone telling the truth and not selling more snake oil.

I do have a question...

I'm intrigued by the lineage of thoughts relating to this subject. Since you have a lot of exposure to this material I'm wondering if you have any ideas about where Haanel got his original concepts?

I am often asked that question because there is a lot of mystery surrounding Haanel and his perennial work, The Master Key System. Was he a part of a Masonic conspiracy? Did he receive his knowledge through arcane means? Someone even theorized about some Russian wizard of sorts who shared his knowledge with Haanel.

The history is quite interesting, but more blase than some of the stories would lead you to believe. The Master Key System must be looked at within the context of the late 19th and early 20th Centuries. The New Thought philosophy was in full swing with many books and magazines publishing the new beliefs for a seemingly ravenous audience. Based on Christian Science as espoused by Mary Baker Eddy, the Christian Scientists and many New Thought-ers held firmly to the belief about what Jesus Christ said about the powers available to each and every person.

Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. (John 14:11-13)

Thus, with enough faith and belief, one could perform miracles as Christ did. Even a cursory reading of The Master Key System would reveal to someone that this was something in which Haanel believed deeply. That being said, the monotheistic ideas that Haanel espouses is more than likely derived from his participation in Freemasonry - while the Masons do not define their God, their only prerequisite is a belief in one God. It is then through this God that miracles and extreme human potential can occur.

Before going further into this, it is worth pointing out that there were at least two other publications that emphasize the words "The Master Key" prior to the Twentieth Century. The actual phrase has been used since the 17th Century by the Freemasons and for a publication in the 18th century - Hiram, or the Master Key to the Door of Freemasonry, published in 1760. Another use of the phrase can be found in Madame Helena Blavatsky's famous (or should that be infamous) 600-page Isis Unveiled, with its sub-title A Master-Key to the Mysteries of Ancient and Modern Science and Theology, published in 1877. One shouldn't underestimate the popularity and influence of Blavatsky and those who followed her teachings - the Theosophists.

In the Twentieth Century, two authors released books with "Master Key" in the title. The first comes from L. Frank Baum, the author of The Wizard of Oz fame, and is an early science fiction novel. It was called The Master Key and subtitled An Electrical Fairy Tale. It told of the adventures Rob and the Demon of Electricity. This was published in 1901.

Another book came out at around the same time Haanel was working on his correspondence school. Its advertisement showed a book and a man reading a book inside an hour glass. The advertisement read:

The Master Key ~ Reveals Things You Never Thought Possible. The Hour Glass of Success. You Will Never get Another Book Like "The Master key".

It was written by L. W. de Laurence and published by The de Laurence Company of Chicago, Illinois, USA, in 1914. To quote a few lines from it will show obvious similarities with Haanel's The Master Key System.

"THE MASTER KEY is divided into Six parts: contains Thirty-seven full Chapters embracing Thirty-five Lessons of graduated difficulty covering Forty individual numbered Exercises in which the fundamental principles of Concentration and Mental Discipline are fully explained."

L. W. de Laurence, whose full name was Lauron William de Laurence, was an American author, publisher, and owner of a supply mail order house in Chicago. He has been accused of plagiarism and the illegal publication of various occult works. The number of publications by this man seems to be considerable.

De Laurence was active at the same time as Haanel and was in fact only two years younger than him. De Laurence, who was born in 1868 and died in 1936, had connections with AMORC. It is unclear whether there was any connection between the two authors.

This then brings us to the main influence of Charles F. Haanel's: the New Thought Movement.

When you read Haanel's The Master Key System, it isn't long before he starts to use terms that can be cross-referenced. To be fair to Haanel, many quotes he uses have nothing to do with the New Thought Movement. He was a man of his time and a well-read one. He used references from eminent people of the 19th Century and talks about the inventions of that time and the early years of the 20th Century. Other quotes come from the Bible but all are rather enigmatic and symbolic which could point to being influenced by New Thought writers, the Christian Scientists, the Freemasons, or the Rosicrucians. There are several hints of a possible knowledge of Hinduism, but it is unclear of Haanel's exact knowledge of that subject as references like Pranic Energy or Pranic Ether may be from the Rosicrucian teachings or possibly, and more likely, Theosophy.

There are several words and phrases that may be of interest:

  • "The Great Architect of the Universe"
  • "Secret Place of the Most High"
  • "Universal Mind"
  • the "I"
  • "The Law of Attraction"

The "Great Architect of the Universe" is a phrase often used to represent God or Supreme Being by Christians, Freemasons, and Rosicrucians. It may go back to the Middle Ages or beyond. Thomas Aquinas used a similar phrase but with "Grand" instead of "Great".

"Secret Place of the Most High" can be found in the Bible in Psalm 91:1 -

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

The "Universal Mind" would seem to come from Friedrich Von Schelling and was expanded on by Georg W. F. Hegel. Ralph Waldo Emerson also made use of this term.

The concept of the "I" also seems to have its origins in the works of early German philosophers. It would seem that "I" was the first principle of Johann Gottlieb Fichte's Wissenschaftslehre - "Doctrine of Science".

The phrase that is on the tip of the tongues of many today is "The Law of Attraction". Like the other terms used by Haanel, this was probably not of his own inventing. It seems to have come to light first in the works of William Walker Atkinson (1862 - 1932) and particularly in Thought Vibration or The Law of Attraction in the Thought World published by The New Thought Publishing Co., Chicago, Illinois, USA, 1906. Though the phrase itself is much older, its meaning became somewhat different with Atkinson and Haanel.

The Law of Attraction also appears in the syllabus of the S.R.I.A. - The Society of Rosicrucians. However, it is not known how old this syllabus is and it is likely that it is quite modern. The S.R.I.A. was formed in 1909 with the idea of teaching to the general public rather than Masons as with previous Rosicrucian groups. Some other aspects of the S.R.I.A. syllabus bears similarities to Haanel's works. However, it may be that both this syllabus and Haanel's ideas are from an older source - or a just coincidence. It is unknown which came first.

Ultimately it may be possible to trace the idea of the Law of Attraction back to certain phrases that were put into the mouth of Jesus Christ in the New Testament of the Bible.

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8, King James Version)

Another book that cannot be ignored was published in 1908 and was called The Kybalion: Hermetic Philosophy by Three Initiates and published by The Yogi Publication Society, Masonic Temple, Chicago, Illinois, USA. It cannot be ignored that this book may have played a part in the development of Haanel's The Master Key System. It certainly wasn't a collection of lessons and exercises, but the wording throughout this book is remarkably similar to Hannel's publications. At one point the phrase "Mental Chemistry" is used. And though there is nothing in the title remotely similar to Haanel's work, the phrase "Master Key" is used in the Introduction and several times in the body of the book. The Kybalion also delves into the power of thought.

...(T)he Hermetic Philosophy is the only Master-Key which will open all the doors of Occult teachings.... One of the old Hermetic Masters wrote, long ages ago: 'He who grasps the truth of the Mental Nature of the Universe is well advanced on the Path to mastery.' These words are as true today as at the time first written. Without this Master-Key, Mastery is impossible, and the student knocks in vain at the many doors of the Temple.... The Principles of Truth are Seven; he who knows these, understandingly, possesses the Magic Key before whose touch all the Doors of the Temple fly open.

It is believed that The Kybalion is not some ancient document but was written by William W. Atkinson and the other "Initiates" have been guessed at as Paul Foster Houses and Mabel Collins. Atkinson was certainly active in the years leading up to the publication of The Master Key System and it is hard to believe that Haanel would not have known of either the man or his works. Master Key Arcana includes short pieces from the writings of several members of the New Thought Movement, including William W. Atkinson, James Allen, Florence Scovel Shinn, Henry Drummond and Phineas P. Quimby.

Whether Haanel was influenced by Atkinson, or any other members of this Movement, though, is another thing all together and it is difficult to be sure what his sources were.

Much of Haanel's life is a mystery. Not many records were kept or preserved and the lack of many living descendants who knew him add to us not knowing much about him. C. W. Evans-Gunther researched and examined Haanel's life as much as possible. His thorough biography can be found at www.haanel.com.

Researching Haanel's influences and their play on his works is somewhat easier. As was noted at the beginning of this article, when the times in which Haanel lived are examined, you can see the influences and how Haanel used those influences to shape his thoughts and his works.

In the time period in which Haanel lived, the self-help/personal development movement (although not called by those terms) was quite large and actually very similar to today's scene. As the saying goes, the times may have changed but things remain the same. By some counts, Haanel was a somewhat important player, although he never had the infamy of Blavatsky or a few others of the time.

It was all of these elements (at least) that came together in Haanel's mind to form one of the greatest books about personal development.

[Please note: This article was researched by C.W. Evans-Gunther. He is also responsible for writing the majority of it. Additional information was added by me. I am also responsible for additional editing and any mistakes that one might find. More information can be found at www.haanel.com.]

Anthony R. Michalski/Master Key Coaching

http://www.masterkeycoaching.com

Being Flexible

In each of our lives, there will be times of joy and times of sorrow. In trauma, we are born. In trauma, we leave the world. Somewhere in the midst of living, growing, and understanding life in our maturity, we find ourselves seeking to find what we were born with. Innocence is precious. We really never lose it. We might for a time lose innocence, but life is too large for one perceptual being to embrace fully with the mind and the heart.

Innocence comes alive the moment we realize life is beyond our control, our ability to perceive, and our emotional capacity to feel. It is here we realize that life is beyond our control and we open our hearts and mind to something greater than ourselves. Our ego finds its proper place in our lives and we shift from being the central core of life's existence and attention to something much greater. At this point, we begin to place our life, our heart, our mind, and our soul into the very wisdom that has created us.

This movement from self-centered awareness to life-centered awareness allows us to perceive and have revealed to us information greater than what we know life to be to what can be known through us. Here, we become flexible with life, instead of, life having to go our way. This level of knowing creates a 6th sense, a super sense of awareness, an awareness in higher consciousness. We become more soul than body at this point. We become the awareness that brought us into this world. We become spiritual beings having a human experience. We become sons and daughters of the Universe.

When we remember who we are. We re - member ourselves back into the awareness at birth and at death. This awareness is with us always. We sometimes forget who we are. But, when we re - member who we are. We reconnect ourselves into the sense of knowing we grow through life and we also go through life. Through it all, our soul is in process of maturing and in process of remembering. With this in mind, our ups and our downs find consolation in our essence - in our spirit.

Samuel Oliver, author of, "What the Dying Teach Us: Lessons on Living" For more on this author; http://www.soulandspirit.org

How to Carry Out Your Self-Help Affiliate Training Without the Stress

It's not entirely easy to get effective affiliate training on your own. Like any other business, it's true that a huge chunk of affiliate marketing depends on luck. However, jumping into the shark lagoon of online entrepreneurs without ample knowledge about the industry will also cause you to fall apart. Here are ways to help you familiarize yourself with the industry without spending a penny.

Join public forums about affiliate marketing

Believe it or not, getting basic affiliate training can be as easy as signing up on forums. This is, of course, provided that you're good at conversations. There are online communities that offer to pass on valuable nuggets of information to starting affiliates. You need to use your head, though, because some of these tips need to be taken with a grain of salt. This means that you can't simply take free advice and tips from strangers without testing them out first. After gathering enough basic data, you can either choose to experiment by using your own choice of affiliate marketing tools. Most people prefer to surf the internet, though, and gather reviews instead. In other words, you can choose to get your affiliate marketing training on your own, for free, but you need to make a lot of effort doing so.

Be involved in one affiliate marketing strategy at a time

Unless you have money to spare, it's highly risky to test out a dozen affiliate marketing tools at the same time. This will also make "learning about the industry" a bit harder simply because you're distracted. Stick to one strategy at a time, and try to work your way through it. It's bound to be tough, because all businesses are tough when you start out. Give your strategy at least six months to progress before totally giving up on it.

Zack Lim is an internet affiliate marketer who owns http://www.MyAffiliateMarketingOnline.com/FreeEcourse He has helped hundreds of people to start their own affiliate marketing business.

He has recently developed a free e-course showing you a step by step process for starting your own affiliate marketing business easier. To learn how to start your own affiliate marketing business without wasting your time and money, visit http://www.MyAffiliateMarketingOnline.com/FreeEcourse

Managing Motivation in a Recession

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going"

Write this old, but still very true, quote down on a 3" x 4" file card and stick it on your bathroom mirror, fridge or someplace in your home that forces you to see it everyday. Read it when you get up in the morning and when you go to bed at night.

Visualization of this quote everyday will give you strength to motivate you in your current business or to find a new business career in these recessionary times. Don't underestimate the power of creative dreaming or visualization. Most of the best inventions in life came from people who were not afraid to dream big.

Successful people have mistakes and failures, but they never loose vision of the goal they have set in their mind to achieve. They learn from their mistakes and push forward towards their goal. Goal oriented people become aware of how powerful the force of dreams and desires are.

Take steps to develop these skills beginning in very small ways everyday. You have to own your dreams or desires. Set one or more manageable goals to accomplish everyday. At the end of the day, week and finally the month, you will be amazed at what you have accomplished. The feeling of pride you get from each achievement will keep increasing your energy level to continue accomplishing even more goals. You now have created a road map to achieve success.

Mine your dreams and desires. Don't let setbacks or negative comments bug you. Pay attention to your dreams, fantasies and desires. Face the fears and challenges that have caused you to stop mining those treasures, the treasures that can give you the life you deserve. Think about it, avoidance is really not helping anything. You still expend a great deal of energy on the negative feelings of pain, frustration, guilt and hurt. Remember, "avoidance always prolongs the pain".

Successful people always keep their vision on the larger picture, constantly taking steps to achieve their goal. They constantly visualize the steps they must take to attain the good things they want in life and to avoid the bad things that will hinder them from accomplishing their goals. In short, they rarely do anything without thinking positively about the rewards of their goal and how it will enhance their life.

Successful people don't dwell on blame or fault. Even if someone else is at fault, they take the initiative to address the problem and seek a solution. Whatever the answer may be, they don't loose sight of their goal. Don't just sit there wishing someone would fix the problem, it's your goals at risk, you fix it.

We know the economy is currently in a recession. Don't wait for it to change take action now. Take up a new skill, change your career, and look at a different field of employment. Look somewhere else to find another career, find a niche that is hot, enlarge your network of searches, and be open to new job or career opportunities. Read the newspaper, entrepreneur magazines, start thinking outside the box. What have you always dreamt about doing? Don't just sit around and wait.

Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Nothing will happen unless you get started taking action now. Start off by taking baby steps; this will decrease your setbacks while building your confidence.

"If an ant picks up one grain of sand at a time, the city will still be built. But if the ant looks at the grain of sand and says this is not a city; there will be no city at the end."

Who am I?

At best, I am a life coach! I was an inner city child with a single mom until the age of 8. I had an abusive step father that forced me to leave home at 16. I grew up on the streets. My life as you can imagine with the role models I encountered quickly shaped my future. After years of alcohol abuse, therapy sessions, counselling and anger management courses, I was at a crossroad. My life was not what I envisioned it would be and it was spiraling out of control. Realizing my barriers was painful to say the least. I couldn't mask my emotions anymore and that is when I decided I needed a life change! Even though my career was in the right direction at the time I couldn't experience happiness.

Change came after applying the teachings and secrets that I am about to reveal to you I use in my own life. I am student of life's teachings in all aspects. My teachings are a condensed version of experiences, encounters, lessons and action plans that are put together in an easy to use manual.

I am committed to transforming my clients to start living their life to the fullest! If you are looking for an easy to read ebook guide to help you attain A Happy, Healthy Lifestyle, get your copy Now to Start Living the Life You Deserve!

http://www.wellbalancedlifestyle.com

When We Choose Misery Over Happiness

I am not one to feel sorry for most people. They seem to have a unique ability to cause themselves the most damage during certain parts of their lives. I have met some pretty self destructive people in my life. Being raised by a mother that lived in misery and love.

My mother had a difficult childhood. It seemed as if every corner she turned there was a obstacle either right in front of here or waiting just around the corner. Her father died when she was 12 year old. He was a farm laborer and didn't make much money. In other words they were poor...... She got sent to live with a few foster families and according to her she was molested by one of the fathers she lived with.

Soon her older sister invited her to live with her. My aunt was married to the owner of a pottery business and had 2 children about 10 years younger than my mother. My aunt soon realized she had a live in baby sitter that allowed her to stay out drinking most of the day.

My Uncle was what you would call a drunk back then, now we call these people alcoholics. Well any way I think you are starting to get a picture of my mothers life up to this point. It is probably safe to assume that this isn't the ideal life for a young woman.

The next event to happen in my moms life was for my uncle to fall in the shower one night after tying one on that night. He died soon after but my aunt seemed to make a another good choice and ended up marring the owner of the bar that they spent most of their time in.
The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. Allan K. Chalmers

By this time my mom was in High School and met my future father. It wasn't exactly a marriage made in heaven. My dad was always an easy going man. He seemed to let most stuff go in one ear and out the other.

As you guessed it they had a few children. Nice one Dad and Mom. According to the books I have read on Angelic beings. People that believe in the after life and angels. They tell me I had a choice and was able to choose my parents....... What was I thinking...... I should have choose someone with some money and a couple of parents that were deeply in love .

How did I end up here in this situation.

I ended up loving my parents like most of us. They seemed to be doing the best that they could possibly do raising me, my bother and my sister. My mom and dad ended up getting a divorce and I went to live with my father.

My Father is remarried to a wonderful woman that seems to bring him a lot of happiness.
I haven't seen my mother for a while now. She lives with a life of excuses and misery. Her childhood was not the greatest but that doesn't give her the right to bring misery into other peoples lives. She has made a conscious choice to live what seems to be a painful life. Maybe her choices in life have made me choose happiness over misery.

I have always wondered what it is that motivates someone to live a life of true unhappiness when it takes the same amount of energy to live a life of joy. Life is meant to be full of joy and happiness so start today by making the right choices to live a fulfilling life of happiness.

If you are reading this and can't make up your mind what kind of life you truly want to live visit me at http://live.spiritualideas.com/ . Change your thinking and change your life.

Greg Vanden Berge will help you create a new approach to life and discover talents you never knew you had. We can help you get the most out of yourself all the time. Start developing your innate strengths and abilities to start enriching your life TODAY !

What Does God Really Look Like

Mother Teresa Helps Radio Host
Eye Of The Needle Christian Stor
Thinking With Abundance
Why Dont We Listen To Our Parent

Is Workplace Conflict Destructive or Creative?

Whenever you work with people, conflict is inevitable. The tension created by daily conflict either results in wasted time, decreased productivity, and poor decisions or the sort of internal competition that pushes each individual to do their best, if for no other reason that convince their coworkers that they can do it.

This inevitable conflict is either destructive or creative. The destructive conflict is toxic to relationships and hurts people and organizations and this is the one that needs managing. In my experience creative conflict seems to be cultural in nature. It's how the people themselves react and address each other and the situations they face together.

If you've ever seen "American Chopper" on the Discovery Channel you know what I mean by creative conflict. There is a lot of yelling going on. These guys are not shy about sharing their opinions when they disagree with one another. If you were a stranger who walked into their shop you might think WWIII had broken out.

In fact, that is how they relate to one another - there is no ambiguity, they tell it like it is in the moment. Imagine how much more they accomplish because they use the tension to air their different opinions, right now - and then get on with it. It's possible that this is just a TV show and these guys have nice quiet meetings in the board room, listening to various committee reports, before the speak up, but that's not likely. I bet they are who we see them as being.

In three decades working with family businesses I have seen dozens and dozens of companies who harness conflict creatively, and in so doing get the most out of everyone as well as optimum results overall. They don't waste time on what's not working just because it was the bosses idea. They stop what they're doing and point out the other person's mistake then show them how to fix it. Nothing and no one or their opinion is sacred - it's all about getting the job done.

Sadly I have seen experts try to get them to change their behavior, be more polite to one another and offer more politically correct input in an ever more constructive manner. In other words they (the experts) want other people to be more like them.

So instead of helping their clients manage the destructive conflict that exists, they are offering suggestions on how to fix what isn't broken.

I am talking about the conflict that distracts employees and managers from otherwise productive use of their time. Studies reveal that up to 30% of a typical managers time is spent dealing with conflict. And that 42 percent of their time is spent reaching agreements with others when conflicts occur.

Sometimes destructive conflict is simply because the people don't like each other. In the universe of family owned companies sometimes brothers, sisters, cousins, and in-laws are thrown together in ways none of them like. Conflict is the only way they have of displaying the frustration they feel about the situation they're in.

It is no wonder that an estimated 65% of performance problems result from strained relationships like these. Between employees who are not happy with each other - not from deficits in their training, skill, or motivation.

The most common way that destructive conflict shows up is about "how" a certain task should be accomplished. I met a farmer once whose son (age 50) refused to do things the way he wanted them done. He sited an example by driving me on the back of his four wheeler (you could not get there any other way) to a field that illustrated his point.

He and his father before him had always plowed the field north to south - his son was plowing it east to west. I am not making this up. It didn't have anything to do with soil erosion, conservation, or the environment - he was doing it this way against his dad's wishes, just to get his goat. And it was working.

I bet you can think of things at your company that are being done a certain way because that's the way they've always been done. And if you're the one who wants to change history, good luck!

Destructive conflict about how things are being done, what things are being done, and whether or not a certain thing should even be done can paralyze the organization.

Wasted time arguing about things that don't matter, an unwillingness to consider another person's point of view based on their experience, and the blame game when the results are in all cry out for a self-help process you can use to manage your differences so that all conflict is creative.

The end result of a successful self-help mediation process is that you (as a group) turn together and focus on the challenge or opportunity you all face. You see the problem as the stumbling block and not your coworker.

Self-help mediation tools allow two individuals the opportunity to discuss their assumptions about the other person's motives. In many conflicts the simple process of testing these assumptions face to face using active listening skills will resolve the issue entirely, because the parties realize the conflict is simply a misunderstanding.

Self-help mediation tools pave the way for more effective decision making. Obviously decisions made under conditions of conflict are going to be inferior to decisions made when cooperation prevails. If ongoing conflict (even a low grade resistance to cooperation) is present between people who share decision-making authority, the resulting decisions are likely to be flawed by the power struggles between those people.

As business owners we know that good decisions must be based on an optimum quality and quantity of objective information. So when information is withheld or distorted by those we are depending on to provide it, the decision cannot be the best one possible.

There is now doubt, workplace conflict resolution strategies - especially those that will allow you to do it yourself - will save you money, time, energy, and enhance your workplace by helping you make better decisions, retain your best employees, and design a future course for the business everyone will actively support!

Wayne Messick's web site http://www.iBizResources.com has many additional conflict resolution articles and strategic planning resources to help you grow your business. If you are a small business advisor and want to maximize your professional and financial potential, here are the resources we are using to systematically multiply our new business, our revenues, and our client's satisfaction.

Goals to Live by and Guild Your Life - Self Help Tips

The start of the new year is a traditional time to reflect on the accomplishments of the previous year and establish goals for the future. Our family started setting goals when our children were still in grade school. We sat at the kitchen table, each with a blank page of paper before us. We encouraged them to be creative and dream big. The variety of my families goals surprised me. Some of their goals were loftier than others. They included:

- Skydive

- Finish college

- Invent something

- Travel to all 50 U.S. states

- Be in the Guinness Book of World Records

My husband and I also set big goals for ourselves. After each session, I typed up our goals. I printed each of our goals separately and mounted them in picture frames posted outside our bedrooms where we would see them every day. Several times a year we take them down and review our progress. We note the completed goals, make modifications or add new goals. New pages are printed and inserted as the top sheet in the frame. We have been doing this for 15 years now. During the review process, we look back on previous year goals are tucked behind the glass. When we reflect on our progress, I'm delighted to see how many of these big goals we have accomplished. Wally Amos is one of the most inspiring and goal focused people I know. I had the chance to visit with him recently at his cookie Chip and Cookie store in Waikiki. Wally says there are no big goals. According to Wally, some goals just take longer to achieve than other goals. If you get an opportunity to visit Oahu, Hawaii, stop by to say hello to Wally and sample the cookies at his "Chip and Cookie" stores. Where do you what to be next year? Start off 2009 by setting goals for yourself.

April M. Williams, Career Coach and Public Speaker - Have the courage to change!

And now I would like to offer you my free weekly newsletter of career and networking tips http://www.AprilMWilliams.com/

The Aging of Relationships

"Yes, I will marry you.....and they rode off into the sunset and lived happily ever after." If only it were that simple. Most of us have visions of our relationships turning out this way, but that is often not the case. Somewhere between the "I do" and "happily ever after" problems arise. Over half of all marriages end in divorce. Of those marriages that stay together, a large percentage are not necessarily happy. What happens? Why do the majority of couples find it so difficult to stay together and remain happy? Just as individuals go through identifiable stages (infancy, childhood, adulthood, old age) so to do relationships pass through distinguishable stages. There are many different ways to name the stages of relationship. We prefer to use the following three stages: Romantic Love (also known as the honeymoon stage), the Power Struggle Stage, and Mature Love.

Many people are familiar with the romantic stage. This is where our lover is in our thoughts 24 hours a day and every moment apart seems like an eternity. We live for the moments that we can be together. We are aglow with love. Everything in our life seems to go well. Colors are brighter, sounds more distinct, foods tastier. We find that we need less sleep. We can stay out with our loved one dancing the night away and still be up early the next morning, energized and ready to tackle the day ahead. If we have disagreements with our partner, we are willing to listen and even let them win. We are in a state of bliss. Then something happens. Instead of continuing along happily in this state, our eyes (and our hearts) begin to shift their focus and we enter Stage 2.

Stage 2 is the power struggle. Most of us are familiar with this stage as the majority of relationships stay here a long time. It is the stage in a relationship where two individuals try to live together harmoniously while still standing up for their individual differences. This is the time when we try to combine two different ways of being and two different backgrounds into one workable relationship. It includes but is not limited to such things as combining two distinct ways of handling money, keeping house, and juggling time schedules with regard to work, hobbies, family, recreation, etc. It involves consideration of differing personal habits and parenting skills, varying degrees of sexual desire, different ways of communication, and more. Is it any wonder that Stage 2 brings to light what we perceive as flaws in our partner's character? She/he charges too much on the credit cards, puts recreation before chores, does not understand why I need to spend so much time with my parents, or has little desire for sex. Differences are difficult to live with, especially when we assume that we are right and our partner is wrong. Our reasoning is: "I've done it this way all my life; can't you see that this is the way it should be done?" Learning how to collaborate with a partner while at the same time maintaining our individuality is the lesson of Stage 2. It can be a lengthy undertaking and usually makes or breaks the relationship.

Some relationships will never go beyond the second stage. The power struggles that occur during this time put the "relating" in relationships to the test. Just as a teenager learns how to become an individual and relate to a world outside himself and his family, an adult learns how to become a partner and be in a relationship. We learn how to get along with others at work, in our community, our state, and in our ever expanding world. Most of us learn skills to go out into the workplace and perform at a job, but few of us learn the skills to communicate and be in relationship. Basic relationship skills can go a long way to move us through this difficult stage of power struggle. Tools such as "I" messages, reflective listening, and a basic understanding of the differences between men and women are an important start. We feel it is equally important to have an awareness and understanding of two basic concepts about relationship: 1) that we alone are responsible for our feelings as well as our actions; and 2) relationships can be used to either heal or rewound the individuals in that relationship.

Marilyn: Having been in a twenty year relationship that I now recognize was one continual power struggle, I can appreciate the flow of my present relationship. Chuck and I both have an uncompromising desire to be in a relationship that works, a relationship that we can use as a path to our spiritual growth. Dr. Wayne Dyer in his tape series Freedom Through Higher Awareness comments: if you have a choice between being right and being kind, always choose to be kind." This is a choice Chuck and I are consciously trying to make in our relationship. When we disagree, we make every effort to deal with those conflicts in the moment. We try our best to go inside and discover how we feel and what our part was in the upset. This is not an easy task, especially since we have been programmed to value being right over being loving. We are used to looking outside of ourselves and blaming the other party. My automatic response to an upset used to be "why can't he understand this, it's so simple!" For the life of me, I could not understand why my partner was so dense; why he could not appreciate that this was the way it was for me. What a world of difference it makes when I can take responsibility for myself. All the blame and frustration disappears. I no longer feel that sinking feeling of disappointment and frustration that I used to feel.....that hole in pit in my stomach that asked the same questions over and over: "why am I in this relationship," and "is it as hopeless as I feel it is at this moment?" In contrast, when I can come from the understanding that I alone am responsible for the emotions that well up within me, then I can look inside and examine those feelings. This is usually easier said than done, especially when those emotions remind me of unpleasant memories about how I was treated in the past. I try very hard to share those feelings with Chuck. Sometimes, the only word I can get out is "ouch," but that is enough to get us started. This effort pays big dividends. It allows us to come to a resolution about our misunderstandings and prevents the build-up of resentments. It is also a path to healing the old wounds and building a new relationship based upon the trust of self and each other.

Chuck: The difference between my relationship with Marilyn and my previous relationships is my willingness to look at what parts I play in our upsets. It wasn't long ago that I felt I was right during most of my arguments with women. I can even remember the times that I knew I wasn't right but still couldn't give in. This power struggle was a pattern I had followed for over 30 years and I don't really know how it started. It has been a slow progression of small realizations that has led me to the point where my relationship is usually more important than my being right. Notice I said usually. There are still times when I know I'm not right or realize that I am hurting Marilyn and our relationship by staying mad, but cannot break out of the old pattern. Fortunately these times are diminishing.

How did I begin on my road to recovery? It began with very intelligent women calmly questioning me about my reasons for staying angry. They wanted to understand what kind of benefits or rewards I received for this behavior. Even when they questioned me during a fight, it was done in such a way that I felt their concern. It was clear that they truly wanted to understand what was happening within me. There was no blaming or ill will.

This process led me to begin to question myself. I went to therapy. I learned techniques I could use during a fight such as active listening, taking responsibility by using "I" statements, fair fighting rules, active listening and more. Finally I decided that I wanted to have a GREAT relationship. Now I work on trying to let go of my need to be right and consciously make the choice to be loving. Believe me, it takes a constant effort within the relationship to maintain that awareness, but it is worth it.....and so is Marilyn!

Marilyn and Chuck: The final stage of relationship is mature love. We have traveled the long road of power struggles to get here and learned what we need to learn from that path. We have completed a 180 degree turn, back to the peace and harmony that we felt with our partner when we first met. Our heart (and mind) has shifted away from finding fault and instead is focused on the specialness of our partner.....the uniqueness that attracted us to them in the first place. We have come full circle. We started out in the Romantic Stage seeing only the good, went through the Power Struggle Stage seeing mostly the negative, and now we are able to hold both. This is an expansive state. It is at this time that we make the conscious choice to put our relationship first and give up the need to always be right. This does not mean that we become less of an individual. It is at this stage that we become comfortable with who we are as individuals so that we no longer feel that we are losing a part of ourselves or our needs in order to have our relationships flow smoothly. In reality, we become more fully alive as we have expanded within ourselves to accept both the positive and the negative in another person.

Many of us have had the privilege of experiencing the rare couple who just seem to flow together. Their love and appreciation for one another glows from their very being. They fit together and feel right and everyone can see it. There is a calm and radiance about them that makes others want to be in their presence. This state of being did not happen over night. This couple has done a lot of work to get where they are. There is a deep level of commitment and understanding between them. For us, knowing that this depth of relationship exists gives us hope for our own relationship. When the power struggles seem overwhelming, we let the vision of this couple give us the strength to stay on our path and just let go. It is our belief that it is within all of us to have this type of relationship. It is a merely matter of choice.

Copyright 2001 the Relationship Specialists, Inc. All rights reserved.

Great relationships don't happen by accident. Learn the secrets to having successful one. Marilyn Hough and Chuck Schmitt, the Relationship Specialists, are licensed Marriage and Family therapists in the Portland, Oregon area. Visit their website at http://www.relationshipspecialists.com for tools and tips on how to improve your relationships. You can also sign up for free bi-monthly relationship hints.

Finding Something You Don't Like About Yourself - Creating Habits

Finding something you don't like about yourself is usually very easy for most people. Most of the time you don't even have to ask your family or friends because you have heard them complain about the same thing for years. How many times have you heard someone mention, I need to lose weight?

Here's a list of things people don't like about themselves. If you're one of those people that has a hard time finding something wrong with yourself, you could always ask one of your friends for some suggestions. I'm sure they would like that.

1. The need to lose weight. This of course is one of the worst problems with Americans. Most people need to lose weight and let's not forget there are some people that need to gain weight.

2. The need to stop gambling. As more Indian reservations are allowed to build gambling casinos and of course as the Internet gambling gets larger, I've noticed some people with gambling problems.

3. The need to stop drinking alcohol. The abuse of alcohol has been going on for many years. These people have an excuse for why they drink and most of the time it doesn't make sense.

4. The need to stop smoking. This could be one of the most difficult things I've ever seen my friends and family deal with.

5. The need to stop excessive behaviors. For example, gossiping, cruelty, bullying, lying, cheating, stealing, partying etc. You get the idea.

6. Don't forget the dreaded shopaholic. Most shopaholic's seem to have large credit card debt and can't seem to stop this vicious circle of buying and owing money to their creditors.

7. Working long hours or the workaholic. Sometimes this is a necessity but I would suggest that you change your lifestyle if possible. Reevaluate your reasons for working so hard.

8. Religious fundamentalists. People that spend too much time at their place of worship and soon find themselves feeling guilty if they're not doing something spiritual.

9. The need to be on time. This would include people that have problems giving themselves enough time to get ready for work or school.

10. The need to stop doing drugs. I thought by now, approaching my 50s, that drugs would no longer be a problem in the United States, but it is. It's one of the most damaging things people can do to their lives.

There are plenty of things that people would like to stop doing or start doing. If you're a smoker and you seem to shop excessively near the casinos, I would advise you to start with something small and work your way up to the big stuff.

What are you going to change today about your life? Make a list of things that you're not happy with about your life and start making the changes today that you need to create the life you deserve and desire.

Greg Vanden Berge is a published author, internet marketing expert, motivational inspiration to millions of people all over the world and is sharing some of his wisdom with experts in the fields of writing,marketing, and personal development.

Greg is currently working on a personal development video library filled with great movies on a wide array of topics, like religion, self help and spiritual changes in the world. His views on religious freedom are slowly changing the way people think about institutional religion.

How to Achieve a Confident Foundation of Self-Esteem

You know those people. The ones that when they walk into a room you just assume they are success. Confidence appears to flowing through them. Everyone wants to be that person's friend and you feel a bit jealous towards them as they look like they always get everything they want in life with ease.

In order to be THAT person you need to have a high level of self-esteem. To behave with that level of confidence you need to a solid foundation in the knowledge of who you are and what you want from life. This is the key to your self-esteem. Taking control of your life. Without high self-esteem, you wont achieve anything, unless you get lucky of course, due to a lack of self-belief.

So where to you start to build a solid foundation of self-esteem?

Self esteem is so important in everything you do. Be it in a relationship, as a parent, or at work. Your decision making and ability to cope with change is dependent on how well you know yourself and what you want. If you dread anything in your life you really need to look at changing what you are doing. If a decision does not give relief or cause excitement then you are not truly making decision for you.

You mental attitude towards anything you set out to do defines whether you action will be a success or failure even before you started.

If you are overly critical of yourself and start worrying about all the "what if" situations that might happen you are just going to paralyze your ability to do anything with confidence.

If you listen to other peoples opinions or think too much about what other people might be thinking about you, again you will not achieve what you want. It is your life not anyone else's so why leave decisions to anyone else. You can guarantee the right choice is being made if you made the decision for you to get you where you want to be.

Felix Nutter
Step Up Speak Out
To get more confidence, self-esteem and anxiety tips, visit http://www.stepupspeakout.co.uk to learn more about how to take control of your life

Do You Actually Get to Go to Heaven - Christian Thinking

Judging Your Childrens Partners
Norman Vincent Peal
Loving People With Kindness
Power Of Myth

Free Inspirational Quotes - Help Yourself, Help Others Too

What could be more empowering, in terms of self-help, than to turn your thoughts towards someone else's troubles?

Instead of trying to help yourself, then, you try to help others. And in doing so - when you stop continually thinking of yourself, and all your woes - you not only help others, empower them, you also help and empower yourself too.

That's what I believe, anyway.

And the following free inspirational quotes seem to be back me up.

"He who teaches children learns more than they do"
-- German Proverb

I think that he (or she) who teaches any child or adult learns greatly in the process, for sure.

But it doesn't just have to be children that this teaching refers to. You could be teaching a colleague or a friend or even your partner - you could be sharing your wisdom or expertise with them, and learning more about your wisdom or expertise in the process.

And you might not be teaching them, but guiding them, or providing mentoring.

"Real education should educate us out of self into something far finer; into a selflessness which links us with all humanity."
-- Lady Nancy Astor

So it is real education what we should all be sharing, if at all possible. And then we really would be helping others, and helping ourselves too.

And, in case you think you don't have the necessary skills...

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."
-- Dr. Benjamin Spock

The famous American pediatrician was speaking to new parents at the time, admittedly. Still, his message is an inspirational one, not simply aimed at that group of people. It has truth to us all, whatever we find ourselves doing in life.

Yes, it's true, we *do* all know more than we think we know. And that means we all have the ability to help, somehow, no matter who we are and what few skills we think we possess.

This is a truly life-affirming belief. And Leo F. Buscaglia describes this belief, thus:

"Don't spend your precious time asking 'Why isn't the world a better place?' It will only be time wasted. The question to ask is 'How can I make it better?' To that there is an answer."
-- Leo F. Buscaglia

Yes, you can make the world a better place by sharing your knowledge and skills with someone else. Or you can simply wonder how else you can make a difference. And you can make a difference - all that's required is belief that you can...

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does."
-- William James

Everyone reading this article has a unique combination of qualities. They will have faced and overcome many challenges individual to them. And these experiences will have given them a unique perspective on life - their perspective.

So, armed with that perspective, and a belief that they can make a difference if they but try, each reader will (hopefully) be inspired to help themselves by helping someone else, in a way only they can.

But it's not as simple as just reading an article. For anything worthwhile to be achieved, action is required. Action is what separates doers from dreamers.

And, of course, there is an inspirational quote for that, too:

"The act of taking the first step is what separates the winners from the losers."
-- Brian Tracy

And, if you take the first step here - if you decide to help others - then we will all be winners, you, me and the person you decide to help.

That is what I believe, anyway.

"With love and patience, nothing is impossible."

And that is what Daisaku Ikeda believes.

Thank you for reading.

Steve M Nash believes that you are your own self help guru. And that's why he created http://www.SelfHelpCollective.com - to let you help yourself, and help others too. You can read more short inspirational quotations by subscribing to his newsletter, The Weekly Wonder - http://www.selfhelpcollective.com/newsletter.html

Top 12 Qualities of True Business Professionals

Many in the business, education, government and not for profit sectors consider themselves to be true professionals. Yet if this was so, why are we experiencing far more poor ethics from the financial meltdown to pay for play to the decline in even professional associations?

Professionalism is a word embraced by many, but in all honesty demonstrated by far fewer individuals. Its Latin's origins come from the word profess which means "to avow before." So the question is what are these individuals who believe themselves to be true professionals avowing before? Possibly the answer may be found within the word professional.

1. P = Positively proactive. Professionals demonstrate behaviors that are positive and proactive instead of negative and reactive.

2. R = Respect. Through this ethic and value of respect, professionals are known and trusted within and without their respective organizations.

3. O - Opportunities to help others. Those who avow before understand they have a responsibility to help others whether it is to grow self leadership skills or provide some expert advice.

4. F - Follow-up. No one likes to wait for un-returned phone calls or emails. Professionals make it a habit to follow-up on everything and accept responsibility when they fail to engage in that behavior.

5. E - Empathy. Professionals know how to be empathetic. This characteristic is a one of the signs of high emotional intelligence and a predictor for leadership success.

6. S - Self-confident. When individuals are self confident, they do not have to put others down at their own expense. These individuals have a high sense of balanced self-esteem and role awareness.

7. S - Sustainable. Professionals are truly sustainable in that they can continue forward when times become difficult. Their ethics and beliefs keep them focused.

8. I - Integrity. Simply simply, integrity is putting your values into action; doing the right thing when no one else is looking without personal gain or benefit; and accepting a potential personal cost.

9. O - Optimize all interactions. This is really critical because professionals do not negate the value of people. They look to see how one interaction can benefit someone else even before themselves.

10. N - Nimble. Being flexible and open to change allows these individuals to be quick on their feet, nimble to the opportunities that they encounter on a daily basis.

11. A - Awareness. Having a high level of awareness of themselves, the marketplace, the community and even the world helps these individuals to continually stay on top of things.

12. L - Leadership. Last, but not least, professionals demonstrate exceptional leadership skills and even more importantly self leadership skill. For if you cannot lead yourself, you cannot lead others.

Leadership Coaching Tip: Take a few moments to revisit this list and determine if there are any areas to be further developed. Remember the origins of the word professional - to avow before and are your actions in alignment with your beliefs?

If you would like to receive Leanne's weekly business column for free, sign up at http://www.processspecialist.com/column.htm

Call 219.759.5601 to schedule a free business coaching training or leadership coaching strategy session with Leanne Hoagland Smith provided you are willing to be uncomfortable.

P.S. This tools helps with developing true professionals

Mastering Our Minds' Manipulators by John Bear 2001

Your life is a product of what you think; it's not so much about what happens to you or what's going on around you, but how you react. John Bear aims to raise our awareness on the basic principles that govern our lives. He covers many areas that affect the quality of our lives and discusses how becoming more aware of these, gives us the opportunity to make more informed, and therefore better, choices. Without this basic understanding and awareness the reason for many of the choices we make, and subsequently, the results of those choices cannot be understood.

What is it that governs our decisions? Why do we have to have the latest gadgets bought on credit? Buy designer clothes we can't really afford knowing they are overpriced? What are the thoughts and impulses that drive us to succeed or not? Are we driven by fear and if so, fear of what? How do our choices impact the world around us?

The subjects raised may challenge your beliefs and if you decide to read this book require an open mind willing to give consideration to the thoughts put forth.

When we rely on sources outside of ourselves for our well-being we give away our own personal power. Governments, the media and institutions rely on this for their own gain above ours. Once they have won us over with promises and policies, it remains in their interest to only give information that benefits them and strengthens their position. Expanding your knowledge base and awareness through self education, exploring private investing and always questioning the information you are given is essential if you are to stand up and accept responsibility for your own life.

To sit back and complain about the state of your life, the economy or world has no effect except to leave you more exposed to the events that will happen. Remember it's not about what happens to you, but how you respond that determines the outcome, at the time and in the future. John Bear looks deeply into how the governing bodies of politics, religions and the media use their power to manipulate our thinking, so that they will profit and be secure in their positions, whilst we flounder with no choice but to reach out to them for help.

'Mastering our Minds' Manipulators' is an eye opening exploration into who we are, and what responsibilities we carry by being here. It encourages self education and awareness that allows you to make decisions in your life based on reaching out for the truth. You don't have to accept everything you're told, or believe that only one way is right. You will empower yourself by deciding you are no longer a victim of circumstance, 'For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.' Prov.23.7.

Absolute Wealth Education. Introducing a range of educational packages suitable for young and old. Homestudies, dvd's, books, ebooks, seminars etc. delivering knowledge and investment strategies that if implemented can provide individuals and families long term lifestyle and security . http://www.absolutewealtheducation.com

Planning Your Bathroom Remodel Budget - Home Improvement Ideas

As a bathroom remodeling contractor, I get calls from people, that have no idea what they want or how much anything is going to cost. Here's some simple tips that can be very helpful when planning a bathroom remodel budget.

Bathroom Remodeling Investment

In 2008, the average mid-range bathroom cost around $16,000 and you could recoup around $12,000 of your original investment upon the sale of your home. According to a popular remodeling magazine, larger bathrooms using expensive fixtures, tile, bathtubs, woodworking, toilets and showers had an average of $52,000. Upon the sale of a home, you could recoup around $36,000 of your original investment.

Finding out How Much Things Cost

My first suggestion, would be to visit your local home improvement center, lumber yard or plumbing supply warehouse. Larger stores like Home Depot and Lowe's, seemed to provide you with value pricing but don't have a large selection. While doing some research on the Internet I noticed that some of their pricing is outrageously, outrageous. Some plumbing supply warehouses can provide value but beware others won't.

Create a List of Bathroom Remodeling Parts

You can get a good idea of your bathroom remodel costs for your budget by making a list of bathroom parts with pricing and then adding them up for a grand total. If you're a total bathroom remodel budget is $15,000 and you have a $6,000 bathtub with $4000 worth of tile, you could have a budget problem.

Figuring out the Labor

You will have to contact a contractor to get an actual cost for the labor. Sometimes you can double the cost of your bathroom remodeling parts to get a rough idea. If you have a list or a couple of lists and a few pictures of some sample bathrooms, this will make the contractor's job easier and often they can give you a labor price within a few days.

Give Yourself a Cushion

I would suggest leaving yourself a small financial cushion for any additional remodeling items. For example, you could see a different toilet, or instead of painting the walls, you now choose to wallpaper, you could incur additional expenses that you haven't planned for. If you know exactly what you want and stick to the original bathroom remodeling plan, you shouldn't need the cushion.

Financial problems often transfer into construction problems, so spend some time figuring out, how much money you want to spend on the bathroom remodel and try not to go overboard on the budget. I hate to see homeowners struggling with home improvement loan payments. Try to create a bathroom remodeling budget that is realistic and will not create a financial burden upon you or your family.

Greg Vanden Berge is working on the internet to promote the education for creating simple to follow guides and home building books to help professional building contractors as well as the weekend warriors. He has just finished a home buyers guide to take some of the frustration out of home shopping.

If your looking for some more bathroom remodeling or home building ideas.

Learning to Create the Life of Your Dreams With - BEing the Titus Concept, by Al Diaz

The world is full of self-help books that tell us we need help, and where we've messed-up our lives, and what we should do to fix them; but "BEing The Titus Concept," by Al Diaz, isn't another one of those. Having read hundreds of self-help and personal development books, I came to the conclusion that life is supposed to be simple; and so are the fixes to common, everyday problems. In fact, I didn't really realize exactly how right I was, or exactly how simple life could be, until I finished reading, "BEing The Titus Concept!"

In this book, Al Diaz adeptly guides all of us, regardless of our various levels of "spiritual maturity," or "spiritual development," into a place of deep understanding and abiding love for our Source - The Source of All Creation. With gentle reminders of the wisdom you already possess, and simple exercises to help unlock powerful, but hidden and untapped, resources within each of us, "BEing The Titus Principle" is tantamount to a "spiritual GPS" device - accelerating your progress down the path of self-discovery and self-realization.

I read this book in my spare time over the course of two-days - hardly a major investment in time - and found it easy, and even fun, to read. After reading the first fifteen-pages, I was already incorporating some of Al's principles and awareness into my own practice with The Belief Formula - amplifying what I feel is the most important variable in the process of creation: the Power of Love, Acceptance, and Gratitude. This book could have easily been named, "The Techniques of the Masters of Life," or, "The Gracefully Simple Way To Make Your Life Graceful and Simple;" because this book provides just that - simple, easy-to-understand, step-by-step guidance to understanding our power and role as co-creators of our own experience.

With the techniques, methods, and concepts contained within this book, we can all become masters of our own experience and creators of our own destinies. "BEing The Titus Concept," for that reason alone, is a definite must-read, and a powerful and valuable addition to the library of any spiritual student or aspirant!

Pete Koerner is the author of The Belief Formula: The Secret to Unlocking the Power of Prayer. The Belief Formula is a look at how you can use ancient wisdom and modern scientific awareness to learn how to use your mind to reclaim your health and create the life of your dreams. Visit Pete's blog and download your Free Illustrated Guide To Self-Empowerment With EFT, at: http://www.ExploreExpandEvolve.com/free_download/

Visit http://TheTitusConcept.com/BEingEbookSalesPage.html/ for more information about this wonderful book and find out about the FREE GIFT you will receive for purchasing BEing The Titus Concept on Amazon during its Official Launch on December 5th, 2008.

Should Christians Buy This Book?

Adult Pier Pressure
Sitemap
Feeling Alive Teenage Problems
Create Your Day

Coaching for Self Esteem - Seeing Perfection vs Fixing People

The whole class was astonished.

We were all coaches and healers. We'd spent most of our lives in improving ourselves and others. Yet what we saw shook the very foundations of everything we believed.

Our teacher asked for a volunteer to come up front for yet another demonstration. We were about to see something that would make our heads spin.

You might have heard of muscle testing. It's a technique to find out if something is good for us or bad for us. Chiropractors and other health practitioners use it all the time.

She tested the volunteer for a baseline. In other words, you have to start by making sure the testing works correctly.

Then came the earthquake. Our teacher asked everyone to send healing energy to the volunteer. Then she muscle tested again.

You're not going to believe this. The person tested weak!

The volunteer weakened when we sent healing energy to her!

We were about to get the next earthquake to complete the collapse of what we thought we knew.

The seminar leader asked everyone to see the person as already perfect in that moment. Guess what.

The volunteer tested strong!

She became weaker when we saw her as needing healing energy. She became stronger when we saw her as already perfect!

Whoa. What have I been doing all my life? What have we been taught?

Our intentions were good, but ...

Perfection happens where someone sees themselves or someone else as perfect and does something, or nothing, for the benefit of the other person. The word intention may not even apply. We see the person as already perfect. There is no intention to change anything.

Black magic is where someone has an intention to damage another.

Misguided Intention

What the heck is misguided intention?

Misguided intention is where we see a person or situation as screwed up and we try to fix them. This is gray magic.

Does that shake things up for you? It sure shook me up.

What have I been doing all my life? What have I been taught?

Sure, you can see things as messed up and fix them. For example, you can see a house as dirty. You can then clean it up. And yes, then it's clean.

Does it stay clean? There is a never-ending activity of cleaning the house as it keeps getting dirty. Does that mean that, if you always see the house as clean, it will always be clean? You still go through the motions of cleaning.

But we want to raise self esteem. And I can tell you that if we always see ourselves in our perfection, that we'll dissolve anything that limits our self esteem.

This is good stuff!

Humility is fine. But that doesn't mean that we tear ourselves down.

True humility is seeing perfection in others.

Smiles

Have you seen the Jack Nicholson smile? That smile tells me that Jack is really cool.

How about the Tom Cruise smile? It tells me that we're both really cool. Does that smile help others to be really cool?

What does all this mean?

We had our foundations shaken. Are we going to go around with the belief that we're screwed up? Are we going to keep fixing ourselves?

Is there a better way?

Glad you asked! We can practice seeing ourselves and others as already perfect.

This approach goes way beyond fixing your self esteem. There is nothing to fix. All you have to do is see your own perfection.

Would you like to help other people? See them as already perfect.

Copyright 2006 by Jim Kitzmiller

Jim Kitzmiller is the author of Rocket Fuel for the Soul -- Blissercise Self-Help Manual. The book's bliss exercises (blissercises) surpass usual positive thinking approaches by bypassing the logical mind. The blissercises cover 46 different areas of life.

Jim leads self-help workshops and does spiritual coaching.

How Positive Thinking Leads to Positive Results

Positive thinking is a habit. But why does negative thinking creep in so easily? It's because it's all around us. It's in the the news, media, conversations, etc. Jack Canfield refers to CNN as Constant Negative News. (How true is that!)

So, you must understand how your thinking affects your productivity, relationships, and success.

1. Negative Thinking

"I'm fat."
"I've got no money."
"My job sucks."

I think it's apparent that negative thinking has a weakening affect on a person. Heck, it's in the term: negative thinking.

These ideas curtail any attempt to change. They are definitive. You will keep manifesting the thoughts, in your head, into reality.

If you say "I can't"...you're right.
If you say "I shouldn't"...you're right.
If you say "I don't deserve"...once again, you're right!

Saying you can't do something ultimately means you won't. You have already made the decision that whatever it is that you are seeking is out of your reach.

Napoleon Hill says, "Whatever a man can conceive and believe, he can achieve." You attract what you think into your life, even if it is negativity.

2. Positive Thinking

I saw James Arthur Ray demonstrate an exercise where he asks you to list your negative thoughts. He then instructs you to write their polar opposites (positive thoughts) next to them.

Let's take the negative ideas above and list the polar opposites.

Negative thoughts - "I'm fat. I've got no money. My job sucks."
Positive thoughts - "I have great health. I am prosperous and abundant. I am grateful for this opportunity"

This exercise ditches the negative thinking. When you focus on the positive, you'll start to see more positive things and experience more positive results. It's the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. If you want more joy in your life, focus on things that create joy. If you want greater health, be conscious of your food choices and physical activities. If you seek greater prosperity, grow your knowledge on wealth creation.

Have you ever experienced the world sending you signals that matched the thoughts you were focusing on at the time? When we bought our last car, I already knew what I wanted. I was looking at online ads, going to dealerships, and reading reviews. All of a sudden, I noticed more and more of that particular car on the road. Do you think that's a coincidence?

Pay attention to your thoughts.

They can either do one of two things.


  • Weaken you.

    Ignore the thoughts that weaken you. Toss aside the notions "I can't...I shouldn't...I don't deserve..." These negative thoughts paralyze your ability to move forward and change.

    If someone tries to implant a negative thought in your head ("you can't...you shouldn't...you don't deserve..."), say thank you and shrug it off. They can attempt to plant the negative seed, but you can choose to let it fall on rocky ground.

  • Empower you.

    Everything is neutral. Things and events only have the meanings in which we give them. Now that you're in control, search for the positive in everything.

    These ideas add power and fuel to your mind. Even when it's difficult, make a conscious decision to focus on empowering thoughts and possibly step out of your comfort zone. When you're uncomfortable, that's when you grow.

    My wife and I experienced an investment that didn't perform the way we had anticipated. We went down the road of negative thinking. "It's too difficult," we complained. We even started finger pointing. We weren't making the situation any better.

    We had to trigger positive thinking. We needed bigger thoughts in order to learn from the situation. We had to put power behind our thinking.


    "What's the lesson?"
    "How can we make this better?"
    "What are we thankful for?"

    Notice how these thoughts trigger deeper analysis. Under any circumstance, situation, or issue, know that you have everything you need at this moment in order to solve any problem. If you believe that, how much power do you think you have now?



Pay attention to what ideas are taking space in your head. Discard negative thinking.

If you want positive results, positive relationships, positive impacts to your financial success, focus on positive thinking.

Action Steps

1. If you have negative thoughts, write them down on a piece of paper.

2. Next to them, write their polar opposites.

3. Focus on the positive and make a conscious effort to ditch the negativity.

Learn how to develop your millionaire mindset.

Visit us at Choose Financial Freedom.

Dangers Using Wood Stair Cleats - New Stair Construction

I would imagine most people don't even know what it wood stair cleat is, in construction we have so many words that describe the same thing. A stair cleat is another word for a thread bracket. In other words it's the part of the stairway that connects the stair stringer to the stair step. These have been used for years and over time, most of them will develop the same problem.

Most wood stair cleats loosened up and create a safety hazard. If the stairs are located outside in extreme weather conditions, for example, if it rains or snows a lot, extremely humid humid weather, or extremely hot and dry temperatures, your staircase might not last that long, if it is or isn't maintained properly. It's not a bad idea to use steel or concrete for stairways in these climates.

If you're ever walking up a set of stairs with wood cleats and the stair steps feel a little loose or wiggly, make sure you examined the stair cleats for safety. It's not uncommon for someone to be walking up or down a set of wood stairs and having the stair step or tread giveaway because the wood cleats has loosened.

If the wood stair cleats are nailed to the stair stringer, the nails can loosen up, causing it to become loose, as you walk up and down the stairs applying pressure to the stair cleat, this will create movement in between the stair step and the stair stringer. This could cause the cleat to crack, break and separate the connection between the stair step in the stair stringer.

I would suggest using metal brackets instead of wood cleats. The metal brackets will not crack or disintegrate like some wood cleats. Stair building brackets of course can loosen up and should be maintained regularly.

If you decide to use wood stair cleats, I would suggest using screws instead of nails and drilling holes in the wood stair cleats, most of the time this will prevent cracking the cleat. Try to use a thicker material for the stair cleat, for example using a 2 x 4 with lag screws and washers would be better than using a 1 x 4 with nails.

If you're walking up a set of stairs and a stair step feels loose, contact the owner of the property and let them know, they have a problem with their staircase.

Greg Vanden Berge is working on the internet to promote the education for creating simple to follow guides and home building books to help professional building contractors as well as the weekend warriors. He is currently working on more stair building books and adding useful content to help solve problems created by the lack of construction knowledge in the building industry.

Mentor Schmentor

I don't think I could count how many times I've read in Personal Achievement-type books that I must find a mentor, and that I simply can't expect to reach great heights in my life without one.

It seems to be part of a "formula" that also includes other "necessary" prerequisites that in addition to the mentor spiel, include the importance of setting goals and building a "mastermind" group. Another popular ingredient is for an author to mention in one of the initial chapters, about that particularly amazing mid-1900's Harvard study - or is it Yale - where the 3% people who had written their goals, had actually achieved them.

I am not disputing the value of having someone play the role of a mentor, or of writing down your goals, despite the above. However, the millions of readers of these kinds of self-help books will only benefit themselves by thinking with their own mind. Treating advice as gospel merely because the book had been written by a successful businessman can tend to put a damper on one's creativity and/or his or her own individual intuitional urges to take one's own inspired action.

It is primarily the mentor subject I wanted to discuss. You don't need anything except for a willingness to allow supply and abundance (i.e. living in thought and feeling as the version of you that is already living your ideal circumstances), and the trust to listen to your own inner urgings towards action in the right direction.

All you need will be attracted to you - including a "mentor", if in fact your desired objective requires extra knowledge. You will meet this person in exactly the right time and in the right place, and receive what you need from the person. It might even be a Combo deal where this person can both impart knowledge and be a business partner, or a source of funding.

For example, if you have excitement over an objective of producing non-profit events for a particular Cause, but you had never accomplished anything of the sort, there are obviously many directions you could decide to take.

Don't limit yourself by simply reading one of the many books on the business shelf, and arriving at the conclusion that because the author claimed that to stand any chance at success, you must secure a mentor, this means you have this responsibility to find a guru with spare time. This belief can tend to put someone in Seek-Approval mode, which is not attractive.

Instead, adopt a belief system that contains the possibility of a Universal Mind connecting everything, with an unfailing Organizing Principle - simply do what's before you to do, taking calm action. Merely taking action based on information you already have is a powerful way to impress the end objective onto the same Universal Mind that is discussed in either the movie: What The Bleep, or in Wiliiam Walter Atkinson's Thought Vibration, a century prior.

Also, spend just a few minutes a day contemplating what it would feel like having an event completed with success, shaking the hands of those few remaining attendees who are on their way out the door or your first event, and who had donated. Feel the exhilaration.

When you are taking on the identity, this powerfully, of someone "who simply does successful charities", the intensity to which you are Radiating this from just your Presence, will attract exactly the help you need from the woodwork.

Once you've left behind the version of yourself that doubts (shifting the quality of your can-do thoughts over that 50% line), the Infinite Intelligence orchestrates whatever needs orchestrating. (as new-agey as that sounds) to match up the outer and the inner.

Why would we ever try to do everything, related to achieving an objective, all by ourselves including finding some mentor that an author says you must find yourself? The Intelligence that runs the entire Universe has a slightly better access to information, including the ability to send someone stumbling into your life, that is specifically needed in the manifesting of any particular objective.

http://www.scienceofrealitycreation.com
is a place which celebrates the Connection between Ancient Spiritual Literature and Quantum Physics with Resources and Articles on Wealth and Personal Freedom

** Attn Ezine editors / Site owners: Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine provided that all content/links are are left intact.

Anger Management For Teens - Self Help Steps to Control Your Emotions

Anger is unavoidable. Feelings of anger are triggered by factors in our environment and are accompanied by certain physiological reactions. Anger management focuses on the negative expression of these feelings. When one externalizes anger, one can mistreat the world around him.

Teenagers have a unique experience with anger. Adolescence is a major growth stage emotionally, socially and physically. Teenagers go through this stage without the benefit of a fully mature brain. Thus, their understanding and ability to self-regulate their emotions is often difficult. There are, however, several ways in which teenagers can gain better control of anger management. Managing anger involves becoming aware of the physiological "signals", such as blood pressure and heart rate, before the thinking part of the brain is bypassed and the action part of the brain is engaged. Following are some of the concepts I offer teens:

  1. It takes 10 steps before you "lose" your temper. Here's an example: If I throw a ball to you, you catch it. However, if you were two-years-old, it might hit you in the face. Through trail and error, you have learned to lift your hands up, cup your hands, keep your eyes on the ball, bring your hands together at the right moment, press hard enough to keep the ball in your hands and suddenly you have caught the ball. This "catching the ball" technique took months or maybe years to master. In the same way, learning techniques to control your anger takes time to learn. Let's take a look at how we can break down the way we react in a situation to see how we might handle our anger differently: You ask your mom if you can go out while thinking to yourself: "She won't let me." You feel sick to your stomach, your heart races. You feel hot and angry and you're ready for a fight. A little too rudely, you ask your mom if you can go out. She responds to your tone of voice and says "no." You explode and scream, "I knew you were going to say that!" You go to your room and slam the door. You kick the bed and throw yourself down and think hateful thoughts. In order to begin to control your anger, you need to deconstruct your behavior and see all these "steps" you've gone through.
  2. Prevention is the best medicine. If you understand step 1 and step 2 of your angry reaction, you can prevent steps 3, 4 and 5 from happening. Awareness is the key. Catching yourself before those other steps occur takes practice (like a child learning to catch a ball). You need to find a way to prevent yourself from going too far. In our example, from the moment you thought about asking your mom for permission to go out, you felt and behaved angrily. You need an alternative plan. One alternative during the early stages of anger is to pause and tell yourself, "I've got to break this pattern. Acting this way solves nothing. I don't feel good when I get distressed. I need to calm down and then cope with what I'm feeling." How do you do that? Take a deep breath. This allows you the opportunity to plan a different conversation with your mother. Use an external "reminder" to "stop, look, and listen" to different behavioral options. For instance, wearing a certain bracelet, ring or band can be a reminder for you that you need to stop long enough to consider the outcome of the path you are on.
  3. Give yourself a break. Go outside for a bit. Take 10 deep breaths. Go to your room, lie down and listen to music. Write a page in your journal. Any of these techniques will allow you the "space" to talk yourself through the problem at hand. Like that child learning to catch the ball, it takes time to learn to control your behavior. In the event that you reach the point of losing your temper and expressing your anger, you need a plan as well. Some have found the following techniques as helpful at times like these: going for a run, punching a pillow, or throwing a ball. Screaming into your pillow can be more productive than screaming at your mother. These physical releases can produce a calmer state in which you can take a look at what led to the angry response and make a plan for the next time it happens.
  4. Finally, write yourself a letter. Tell yourself the situations that trigger your anger. Describe the first steps as you move towards an angry outburst. Then, describe alternative plans for calming yourself and dealing reasonably with your anger. Give specific behavioral options that you've learned and calm you down at that stage. Also include plans for safe releases of your anger if it goes too far. This letter should be available at all times. Your own words can be your best coach when you feel circumstances getting out of control.

Laura Doerflinger, a licensed mental health counselor, is the Executive Director of the Parent Education Group at http://www.familyauthority.com and the author of the audio book, Emotionally Balanced Parenting

Copyright 2008 Parent Education Group - Reprints Accepted - Two links must be active in the bio.